Know Yourself, Know Your Worth
I spent most of my 20s soul-searching. I tried on different interests, styles of dressing, and personalities like different pairs of jeans. I projected confidence, but deep down I struggled with self-doubt and insecurity. I was always either “too much” or “not enough” for people and I tried to fit in based on who I was around. This was a painful way to live and, thankfully, I wised up and finally figured out who I truly was.
Many of us struggle with self-acceptance and will have to eventually embark on a journey of self-discovery. Oftentimes, not only do we not love ourselves but we don’t even like ourselves! Our low self-esteem manifests in a myriad of ways, most notably through our tough internal critic always reminding us of our flaws. We cannot show up fully in the world while weighed down with our self-judgments and self-criticisms. From my experience, getting to know myself was the key to learning to accept, and eventually, love myself.
This short + sweet post has some tools for you to get to know yourself too! As you come to know yourself, you begin to understand what makes you tick and you start to see your own assets. Below are 5 personality typing systems I’ve used on my own journey and I hope you find them helpful. As with all things — remember these are suggestions + additions to your toolbox. Pick up what works for you and leave what you don’t need.
This is my entry point and the first test you should do! I like the version offered by 16personalities.com because of my favorite thing — the strength + weakness breakdown. I retook this test a few years ago and it was powerful because it framed characteristics I’ve spent most of my life being criticized for as positives. It also brought language and self-awareness to things about my personality to be mindful of.
2. Zodiac Big Three:
Sun, Moon, Rising – I know, I know — not everyone believes in astrology but hear me out! Astrology is so much more than the 140-character horoscope you read on Twitter. You’ll need to know your birth time and then head over to cafeastrology.com to get your natal chart. Once there, you’ll be able to read about your Sun sign, your Moon sign, and your Rising sign. Your sun sign is your more “egoic” self + qualities you are developing, your moon sign is your inner feeling + emotional self, while your rising sign is your external self + who you project into the world. It’s fascinating to read about YOU from an objective point of view and see what resonates. Once you know your sun, moon, and rising signs you can also read more about your astrology profile here!
3. Five Love Languages
This test is ESSENTIAL! It brings clarity about how you give and receive love + will help you understand yourself. Learning your love language provides insights to help you improve your relationships since many misunderstandings in relationships stem from us not showing love in the same ways. After this test, you’ll be more empathetic to your partner + friends + family as you start to recognize the different ways you each express love. Take the test here and if you have a partner — have them take it too!
4. Life Path Number aka Numerology
Your Life Path number is “a single-digit number that is said to reveal who you are, your deepest values, and the challenges you may have to face” (read more here). I’ve done full numerology reports in the past but only recently dug into my Life Path number — and WOW!! I’m blown away by the accuracy. As with all things, I had to test it out on my BF’s and the result was exactly the same — mind-blowing! Click here to use the Life Path calculator tool and then select your Life Path number to the right and dive in!
5. Human Design
I first heard about Human Design after hearing Jenna Zoe on a podcast! Jenna describes the human design system as “the contract your soul makes with the Universe about who you came to be, what you came to do, and what karma you came to correct this lifetime around.” This was immediately intriguing because Human Design brings in an element of not only getting to know yourself better but also your soul! There are 4 main types of humans — Generators, Manifesting Generators, Manifestors, and Projectors. You’ll start by creating your human design BodyGraph here and then you can Google + use Jenna’s site to learn more. I’ve found Human Design to be great at helping me understand my daily energy levels. (Bonus: When looking at your BodyGraph chart properties, start with researching your “Type” and “Profile” — Mine is Type Manifesting Generator, Profile 5/2)
The Enneagram System is created to help you understand your “personality and inner workings”. This is the system I’m the least familiar with but I have many friends who swear by it. The Enneagram Institute has a test available for $12, but you can also find free, albeit less accurate, tests like this one here!
I hope you have some fun learning more about yourself. I believe true self-esteem comes from self-awareness first and self-acceptance second. As we begin to build self-esteem, we start to see ourselves as worthy. We gain a larger perspective and can view our strengths and weaknesses in the greater context of our lives. Getting to know yourself is the best thing you can do! Comment below about what system resonates most with you!